what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
