It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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