I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
