she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
