He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
