GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
