You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
