I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
