just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
