Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

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(562): View more from California

How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.

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(206): View more from Washington

Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out

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(703): View more from Virginia

Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat

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