Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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