I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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