Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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