only if we run a train.
done.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
