Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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