I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
