you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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