So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
