all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize