Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
