you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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