How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
