I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
