My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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