hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night