We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
