yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
