i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
