Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
pray to the hookup gods
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
