Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
