i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
