He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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