Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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