a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
