Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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