i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
