Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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