how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
