i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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