My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
