we have pet lesbian snakes
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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