White coat. Heels.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i barfeds in our rink
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
