Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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