nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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