I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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