If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
