I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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