It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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