One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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