Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Come see our sink grown plant.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
