she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
