his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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