Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
