PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
