yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
