I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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