i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
