If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
