how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
