So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
