okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
