You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
